How a Pause Can Change Everything
When emotion takes over, most of us want to act — to fix, escape or explain. But what if all you needed was 90 seconds of stillness to change the trajectory of how you feel?
A Stroke, a Scientist, and a Moment of Awareness
At the age of 37, Dr Jill Bolte Taylor — a neuroanatomist and researcher — experienced a massive stroke that shut down the left hemisphere of her brain. Remarkably, she witnessed her own brain go offline. As a neuroscientist, she understood at some level what was happening, observing in real time which functions were disappearing — language, logic, and the linear sense of self.
Her extraordinary story, told in her bestselling book My Stroke of Insight and her viral TED Talk (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UyyjU8fzEYU), offered the world an insider’s view of the human brain in crisis — and recovery.
The Birth of the 90-Second Rule
Out of this experience came one of Dr Taylor’s most resonant teachings: the 90-second rule. According to her, when we’re triggered by something in our environment, our brain releases a chemical surge that floods the body — the physiological wave of emotion.
That surge, she discovered, lasts about 90 seconds. After that, the emotion’s chemistry has run its course. What remains is the story we keep telling ourselves — the mental replay that keeps us looping in anger, fear or sadness.
If we simply pause for 90 seconds and do nothing, once that time is up and we allow ourselves to ground, we may experience a subtle but meaningful shift in our feelings and emotions.
Sitting with the Feeling
We often hear the phrase “sit with the feelings”, yet many people find it almost impossible not to take action when a difficult emotion arises. Our conditioning tells us to do something: to talk, to defend, to scroll, to eat, to distract.
The 90-second rule invites the opposite. It encourages us to stop. To breathe. To simply be with what is — without analysis or reaction.
90 seconds sounds like no time at all. Some may say, “It’s not long enough,” or “It didn’t change anything.” But that isn’t the point. The aim isn’t to “fix” the emotion — it’s to let the body complete its natural process without interruption.
Still the mind. Do nothing for a time. Then, when the 90 seconds are over, go for a walk, have a drink of water, stretch, or step outside for air. You may just find something shifting — a loosening of tension, a flicker of clarity, or the smallest sense of space between you and what you feel.
Why It Matters
That tiny space of awareness is everything. It’s where emotional regulation begins and reactivity ends. By learning to pause, we remind ourselves that feelings are transient, not permanent states of being.
In therapy, mindfulness, or daily life, this can be a powerful bridge between neuroscience and self-awareness. It reminds us that while we can’t always control what happens to us, we can choose how long we stay inside the storm.
Try It for Yourself
Next time something triggers you — a comment, a message, a tone of voice — pause.
Set a timer if you like.
Notice your breath.
Feel the sensations in your body.
Let the wave move through.
After 90 seconds, see what’s changed. It might be only a fraction — but that fraction could be enough to alter your next choice, your next word, or your next step.
Closing Thoughts
Dr Jill Bolte Taylor’s 90-second rule reminds us that emotional mastery isn’t about suppressing feelings, but about allowing them to move through us naturally. 90 seconds of stillness may sound simple, but within that pause lies the power to respond — rather than react — to life.
“Peace is just a thought away, and all we have to do to access that peace is to purposely silence the voice of our dominating left brain.” – Jill Bolte Taylor
Disclaimer:
The factual skeleton of this piece was written by the author and checked against published interviews, verified neuroscience sources, and Dr Jill Bolte Taylor’s public talks. Substantial editing and contextual framing were applied to reflect an accurate and accessible overview. Any factual errors or omissions will be amended upon verification.
References:
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Bolte Taylor, J. (2006). My Stroke of Insight. Penguin.
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Psychology Today (2020). The 90-Second Rule That Builds Self-Control.
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Hintsa Performance (2023). Improve Your Emotional Self-Awareness With This 90-Second Rule.
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TED Talk: My Stroke of Insight – Jill Bolte Taylor, PhD. (YouTube, 2008).
For a copy of my five minute recording to accompany this premise, please contact me directly.
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